Saturday, 2 November 2013

30 Days of Thankful: Day 1 & 2

I see many friends doing this on Facebook and year after year I think, 'Oh, that's a nice idea,' and then I never take it on. This year I have decided to give it a go, however, I am already two days behind.

So, let's get started...shall we?

Day 1: My Daughter

I am thankful for this little blessing in my belly. I want her out and in my arms so SO bad, but the bright side to everything is that I learned today that she is doing well and thriving still and her health is of highest importance to me.

I am overdue by 9 days and was informed she has NO intentions of making an appearance at least in the next 3! I'm going to have to be monitored now, daily, but won't be forced to undergo an induction unless she is in distress, so I could go as far as next Saturday!!

The day I will finally hold her against my skin, smell that baby smell and kiss her sweet, baby face will be infinitely beautiful and so worth it...but until then, no matter how long, I give thanks for my daughter.

Day 2: My Husband

Today, I am thankful for my husband.

He has been sick as a dog the past 24 hours and, admittedly, I thought he was putting on a bit at the men do with their "man flu" reactions. But bless him to bits, when I break down and lose my head this man is here for me.

Still feeling a bit poorly, himself, after spending most of last night camped outside the bathroom, sprawled on the carpet and doubled up in stomach pains, he calmly sat with me this afternoon as I bawled my hormonal pregnant eyes out over my feelings of failure as a Mommy. Struggling with balancing the quality of time I'm spending with an over-zealous 3-year-old boy with selective hearing, the patience I have and have subsequently lost with said beautiful, but challenging, child and my inability to "turn it off" as my midwife instructed, so as to allow my body to just do what an overdue pregnant woman's body is meant to naturally do but cannot for some of the reasons above, I finally broke today and my Matthew was there.

My husband is no saint and neither am I, but today when I could not take another minute of putting on a brave face, I took my son to his room to carry out his time-out for not listening...again...and then gave myself a time-out in the bedroom, so to ensure I wasn't going down for 'harm to a minor.' Shortly after, I heard Matt come up the stairs and first tend to a whimpering Ryan who "didn't want to be upstairs." He, ever-so-calmly spoke to our son with compassion and understanding for his feelings while still pointing out there clearly had to be a reason and that after speaking to me he would come back.

My devoted then sat next to me on the bed and just listened as I sobbed it out and mumbled silly, unreasonable things like, "I'm going to be pregnant foreverrrrrrrrr!" He didn't even have to say anything...he just rubbed my back and kissed my shoulder and let me...let go.

I fully expected him to march straight back in to our son and give him the telling off of his life, but that's not quite how it went. I remember him staying with me long enough that my breathing started to calm and then he went back to Ryan to have a Daddy-Son heart-to-heart about how Mommy was feeling. I expected Ryan's reaction to this to be that it made him "sad" that Mommy was sad, but Matt turned it into a positive. He held up my consequence of taking Ryan to his room for his behaviour, but then also suggested they tidy up the room together since it was getting out of control.

I don't remember much after that as I drifted off and the next thing I remember, it was dark outside, dead quiet upstairs and the streetlamps were on. A few hours had passed.

I knew my husband still didn't feel 100%, but he also knew I desperately needed time alone, so without even questioning for a second, he gave it to me. I never doubt Matt's love for me, but I think today was a clear testament to it if I ever did.

Yesterday may have been our 5-year wedding anniversary...but it is today that I continue to give thanks and massive love and appreciation for my husband, Matt.

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